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Know Your GWs- GW G&Ders
Finding a member of G&D out in the wild is a very difficult task. Unlike human beings, G&Ders feel that social activity is beneath them. Their pale white skin means they cannot go out in the sun without bursting into flames, and their poor depth perceptions means they tend to wander into traffic. The average G&Der has no interests in television or movies. Their opinions on climate change comes from Hoshigami: Ruining Blue Earth. If you do see one, it will be at night time, where you can see them squinting and looking like fish in a koi pond, blinking and staring at colors and shapes and words and occasionally trying to find out what the words mean. G&Ders don't read or watch the news, because that would make them upset and they don't know how to deal with feelings (see: any “tragic” sequence in an RM2K game).
When approaching a member of G&D, it is important that you keep several things in mind. -If you have any examples of corporate culture on you, such as an iPod or nice clothes, you will be rejected. Years of replaying FF7 has convinced them that all corporations are evil. Similarly, it's best not to wear any clothes about videogames because it'll either be the wrong company or you'll be accused of being a poser -If you are a minority, either get a white proxy or put on whiteface. G&D is scared of blacks, as can be evidenced by visiting their IRC channel. If you do get found out, immediately cover by saying how much you disliked affirmative actions and those “other” minorities that make yours have a bad name. This will cause them to back down, but they will never fully trust you. -If you are a woman you're in no matter what. Just hint that you are one and you'll become a favorite. -Approach, hands open to show that you have nothing in them, and murmur soothing phrases about how good their maps are. With luck, the G&Der will lower his hackles and begin to purr. -At this point you may pet the G&Der. If they get startled again, start talking about how 2D is better than 3D and that Sephiroth inspired you to make your own villain, and it will settle down. At some point, the G&Der will pull out his game. Compliment his game with as many emoticons as possible. It is suspected G&Ders feed on emoticons. Be careful not to swear; if you say the game looks “cool as shit” the G&D will flee into the underbrush, never to be seen again. Swearing terrifies G&Ders. Among the G&Der is a different creature. Where the average G&Der is pale and sickly, the other G&Der is huge and undulating. I call them the Hutts, because of their resemblance both physically and mentally to the creatures of Star Wars. Hutts like absolutely nothing, not even each other, save their games. Some Hutts will ruin their lives for their games, dropping out of school and leaving loved ones. Instead of ridicule, this creates a sense of awe around them among other G&Ders. The Hutt is even rarer than the G&Der, but when he appears (and they are all exclusively male) you will know it by the rumbling it makes through the land. The Hutt hates everything and everyone; other Hutts, G&D, mods, admins, members, talkative members, the site, everything. No one can do any good or make a step towards the right direction. Instead of attempting to foster growth, the Hutt tends to chuff out a few laughs and then attempts to squash someone under their massive bulk. No one is quite sure why the Hutts stay around a site and with members they hate so much, and I suspect even they do not know. Here are some tips when dealing with Hutts. -Do not appear afraid of the Hutt. Despite what it thinks, it does not have an acerbic wit or the ability to manipulate hundreds of people to do its bidding, and in fact just tends to warble inarticulately at admins. Instead, open up your coat to appear larger. As you approach, if you want to be accepted among the Hutts, state a controversial gaming opinion, such as how Baldur's Gate II wasn't that great or how Final Fantasy 7 blows and Kefka is the real FF villain. The Hutt will grudgingly accept your presence. The best way to be accepted by the Hutts is to say that Barkley Shut Up and Jam Gaiden is overrated and not that great. -If you anger a Hutt, do not attempt to attack it face on. Remember, their sense of self-superiority will protect them. Instead, curl into a ball. The Hutt will attempt to crush you, at which point you should attempt to make yourself as angled and sharp as possible. Since G&Ders cannot deal with more than one point at a time, the Hutt will decide you are more trouble than you are worth and wobble away. -If you must absolutely fight a Hutt head on, take him into unknown territory. First, play some hiphop music; like their smaller counterparts, Hutts are terrified of minorities and will immediately become scared and angry. Then approach them from any philosophical perspective not expressed in an anime already. This will deflate the Hutt, as while the G&Der may have little social or political knowledge, the Hutt has none outside his dealings with the pizza guy. -Remember, Hutts hate each other. If you can last long enough, one Hutt will appear to take up the fight with the first. Use this opportunity to leave. Game and Demo is a dangerous place but it's possible to survive with these tips. Make sure that if you're in trouble to light your flares; hopefully a G&D mod, now weary from all those years of fighting, will come and scoop you up. If you notice a G&Der posting outside of their forum, approach them as outlined above and gently guide them. They will seem scared and blurt confused opinions for a while, but eventually...perhaps...they will return to humanity. No one has ever seen it though... I only spent a short amount of time with them, but I will miss them, those G&Ders in the mist. Posted on March 17, 2008
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About This BlogYes, we are still very much alive! This blog is a placeholder Gaming World's upcoming main site, GW6. The release date is still unknown even to us and this site is designed to introduce and keep you updated on what's happening in our community while the main site is being worked on. Enjoy your stay at GW and register on the forums if you haven't done so already! |
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