Too fat to get off the couch?

Stuck to a toilet for 7 years and on your laptop?

Unable to drive or work because you're down with a serious ailment?

Going through withdraws because your friends didn't bring you the cocaine you're looking for?

Drunk off your ass & wanting a good time?


If you answered yes to any (or all) of the above questions, call 1 555 928 9854 RIGHT NOW and you'll get 50% off on any of the games below! And if you're a white male, we'll send you 2 games after you buy 1....free.

That's right - FREE.

Command & Conquer
By: Westwood Studios
Real Time Strategy

Before Starcraft, there was nothing. And then came along a game called Command & Conquer....

Earth, 1995, 2 factions are at war....the GDI of the UN, and Brotherhood of Nod.

Yeah, it's a pretty lame story, but this is the game that revolutionized and redefined the RTS genre as a whole way before SC would (a whole 3 yrs before, in fact!).

Also, if you haven't played this game, but like RTS, you're a dick and need to go get on that now.

Download info at: http://www.shacknews.com/onearticle.x/48749


Battle for Wesnoth
By: The Battle for Wesnoth Development Team (real original!)
Turn Based Strategy Game


BfW is awesome. Very very awesome. It's a hex map based TBS, utilizing the "Keep It Simple Stupid" philosophy for their game design. The end result is a "simple" game, where strategy and unit mastery comes into play. Each unit grows stronger in either day or night (or neither), each unit you make also has individual traits that can make it stronger too! Various weapon types + unit resistances come into play as well.

The default game has 6 races, 13 campaigns, an awesome multiplayer mode, a map maker feature, hundreds of units, and modifications to the game to expand it.

Definitely worth a try! http://www.wesnoth.org/

Progress Quest
By: Eric Fredricksen
Zero Player RPG
Progress Quest is a Zero Player...wait what?

Yeah, you load this game up, and it plays itself. Think of it as IdleRPG, but cooler. The game is a parody of the MMORPG genre, and as such there are tons of references and what not.

Without waiting, screenie:


Yeah.

I'm a fucking Enchanted Motorcycle Robot Monk! What is cooler then that? Nothing.

Get it at: http://www.progressquest.com/

Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory
By: Splash Damage
First Person Shooter

Before Enemy Territory - Quake Wars, there was Wolfenstein...a free FPS set in a World War II-like deal. The game is very refined and amazing, and pretty balanced too! It's quite the wonder for a free FPS, really. It has a level up and XP system, so each class you choose will be different as well.

It also has several great mods for you to check out, like Jaymod, No Quarter, and my favorite True Combat: Elite.

You can download it here: http://www.gamershell.com/download_2354.shtml

TrackMania: Nations
By: Nadeo
Racing Game


TrackMania Nations is a freeware game where players compete world wide vs each other on tracks (default or custom made ones, with some really wacky custom ones to boot) online with each other. There's not much else to say except its fucking awesome.

You can see the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B152iCaxzyU

You can download the game here: http://www.trackmanianations.com



Thanks, hope you enjoyed it!

Comments are welcome, PM me for game suggestions!