New Zealand: More than just lord of the rings... (part 2)



This is exactly the same facial expression I have every time Otomon posts.

Hello again! I thought I had better get part two out of the way because people are generally gushing over New Zealand on the forum, particially after this video Chef shared with us:



If this guy is being ironic he has everyone fooled, yet again me and Climbtree are going half and half. I'll let him start..

Maori's

Did you know that New Zealand has it's own indigenous race? They are still around too! They are called the Maori.



What is a Maori?

The Maori is a unique case. Maori's inhabited New Zealand for several hundred years along with the native fauna and flora before the English came. Aside from native humans, New Zealand has a variety of native birds. Maori used to survive by hunting and eating birds for their delicious bird meat. They also ate each other, berries, insects and vegetables.

 Maori usually range from light to dark brown depending on a variety of factors, mostly annual sunshine received (ASR). Maori produce a skin pigment when they are exposed to sunlight that gives them this quality. Maori usually grow quite large, but not as large as their Samoan cousins.
Maori also greet each other by touching noses as a sign of respect.



In times gone past, Maori would often wear skirts made of grass and Flax, a special plant, and shirts made from bird feathers. They used many bird feathers in their decorations. Maori sometimes have facial tattoos called mokos. This can make them look scary.

What are Maori like?

Maori people care a lot about their family, or as they call them, their Whanau. Maori are usually a nice group but it depends a lot on the environment and the context in which you meet them. Maori are respectful of authority figures, like chiefs or policemen, if they feel they are respected. If they feel disrespected, trouble will quickly brew!

What to do if you meet a Maori

If you are in an unfriendly environment, or around an angry Maori, it is important to stay calm. Eye contact is seen as a challenge. If one makes eye contact with a Maori, it is important to glance away ASAP! Maori, when about to attack, will widen their eyes and stick out their toungues. When a lot of Maori are about to attack, they may perform a pre-fight ritual known as a Haka. It is an energetic display of anger or dislike towards the opponent. To avoid Maori attack, it is often useful to hide behind other bar patrons.

Maori are very good fighters. Before the British civilized New Zealand, the Maori would often have intertribal fights. Maori were trained to fight with the taiaha, similiar to a bo-staff. They were also skilled with pounamu, a weapon made of green stone (a very precious mineral to the Maori) that could easily decapitate a grown man! When the British arrived, the Maori rapidly gained musket skills and even invented a type of trench warfare.

Fighting often gets the Maoris into trouble though. Some say this is because they have a warrior gene (monoamine oxidase-A) which makes them want to fight more.

Here is a picture of Climbtree's dad(s)



New Zealand food

New Zealand is a group of islands that were colonized by the British. The English brought some very good things with them, but unfortunately also brought their food. British food is very bad. On the whole, people from England did not care about their mouths very much. New Zealanders still enjoy food such as mutton and scones, and tea is still a popular drink. People from New Zealand often squeeze teabags to get more tea out.

New Zealand definitely has a sweet-tooth! Some popular New Zealand deserts are lammingtons, pavalovas (often abbreviated to 'pav'), hokey pokey icecream, pineapple lumps, and others. New Zealand children often have nutritional deficiencies. This is due to NZ soil being low in iodine. The salt there now has iodine added so people don't die or have their necks get funny.

The NZ islands are notorious for consuming and enjoying vegemite and marmite. These products are high in vitamins, but have a strong taste. Sometimes these products are applied under the nose on the scene of a homocide investigation to negate the smell of a dead body. Most detectives do not do this. Probably due to the products colour. Vegemite and marmite look rather yucky.



Afura: Who pooed in my sandwich?

New Zealander's like their food fast. Popular fast food includes fish and chips and pies with meat filling. People in New Zealand are also fond of ketchup, which they call tomato sauce, and weatbix, shredded wheat in a bar shape that they consume for breakfast. New Zealanders often don't have breakfast, and some will only have a piece of toast or a coffee! An advertising campaign has sought to increase awareness of the benefits of breakfast.

Afura's turn...

New Zealand Hero's

It's boring to talk about Hero's everyone knows: Sir Edmund Hillary (first person to climb mount everest), Peter Jackson (did LOTR), Sporting Hero's blah blah
So lets do two unconventional New Zealand legends....

Blanket Man

Blanket man could possibly be the worlds most famous bum, he is a mysterious human who lives in the capital city and he basicially sits in the middle of the street wearing a loincloth. The wall actually has a black stain from him sitting there so long, he used to just be naked but eventually was convinced to wear his trademark blanket. He is often seen chiliin in the sun and jamming out to the music from the cd shop next door. Blanket man is frequently seen with a bong made out of a can and people often leave him food or alcohol. I don't know where he gets his weed from but it must be pretty good because he is always buzzing out and yelling at innocent passerbys. One time he was arrested for drunk driving and driving without a license, no one knows where he got the car. When asked about it blanket man told police officers the car was actually a wooden canoe. Also he never showed up to community service because it required wearing shoes and he hadn't worn shoes in seven years...



Heres his wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanket_man

Jake the muss

Whilst the majority of us are afraid of women, Jake the muss will fight any woman up to the challenge. Jake the muss is a fictional character played by New Zealand actor Temuera Morrison. He played the character Jango Fett in Star Wars Episode 2 and first started out doing soap opera before starring as Jake in the movie “Once were warriors”. Jake the Muss (short for muscles) is a pretty famous guy in New Zealand and as a child I remember everyone used to laugh about his best line in the movie which was:


Essentially Jake is a character who is brilliant at fighting, no opponent is too strong, neither woman nor child. Wikipedia summarizes him very well:
“He shows almost no regard for their children unless they do something to upset him. His reaction upon learning that son Mark has been remanded as a ward of the state is "Is that it?… It'll toughen the boy up."

He's a pretty cool dude, I've heard about people overseas who watched this movie when it came out and thought a lot of New Zealand males must also love to drink and fight women, they thought it was a semi-realistic portrayal.
Watch this video and enjoy, things get started about 40 seconds in so have patience



Jake Heke: Fuck woman you look awful, go clean yourself up.
Beth Heke: This is as cleaned up as I get you bastard.

Tourism in New Zealand: Things to do!

Bungy Jumping

New Zealand was the first country to start commerical bungy jumping and it is a pretty popular tourist attraction. Below is a picture of a bridge I personally have jumped off, I was so sure I was going to die that when I jumped my hands were clasped together in a praying motion. I remember constantly saying the words “please make it so I dont go to hell” as I fell.


Zorbing

Zorbing is basically bouncing down a hill inside of a giant ball, it looks awesome and I definitely would like to try it.


Funneling

New Zealand like many other countries has a strong passion for binge drinking when you are younger, some might say that it is a problem. A well known slang term for getting drunk is “getting on the piss”. Basically you pour one or two beers in the funnel then hold it back over your head and try drink it as fast as possible. One time I did it with a bottle of wine when I had work at 5.30 the next morning, that wasn't a very smart idea.


Pictures of Kiwi Stuff:

The extinct Moa



The Marae (traditional Maori meeting house)



Wellington City



Koru Plant



New Zealand landscape




And thats all!