I am uploading this SCARY article for Bled aka Cockdemon101 (he's going to hell definitely)


Bedtime Tales from the DARK SIDE:  Black Magic, Demonology, and the Occult

Hello boys and girls, and welcome to another educational shockumentary of bombastic magnitude!  As always, this week's feverish message is brought to you by:



It's a misunderstood and often disregarded aspect of global history and culture, however, for those of us who like to keep an open mind it soon becomes a revealing account of some of the darker facets of the past.  Its secrets have been coveted by kings, politicians, scientists and madmen.  Its practice is a lifelong pursuit for those of only the most studious nature and to handle it recklessly is not only a risk to life and limb, but to your immortal soul.  Today, kids, we're going to talk about the occult. 

The Princes of Persia
Of course, when I use the word "occult" I am specifically talking about magic, divination, and affairs with ethereal creatures who occupy an expanse of space outside our conventional knowledge of the known world.  Although this is sort of a broad topic, the first origins of human involvement in these sorts of activities can be traced back to a very important group of wise men who resided within the ancient empire of Persia.  Known for their profound learning and gifts of prophecy, these high priests, known as magi, occupied lavish mountaintop temples and served to advise several generations of rulers. 

The magi were an exclusive order of high-profile sorcerers who made it their lifelong ambition to discover undeniable truths about man, nature, and the spirit world.  In order to attain these coveted facts they spent years studying the stars and making sacrifices to the elements.  They believed that it was possible to understand both the future and the past and developed basic methods of divining glorious prophecies.  At the core of this was their belief in the transmigration of souls and the inherent integration of the spirit world into natural existence, which generally led them to abstain from eating any form of meat.

One of the most famous early texts involving the magi is still present today within a seemingly unlikely source:  the Bible.  It is widely believed that the three wise men who traveled to meet baby Jesus (Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar) were indeed master astrologers who followed the burning star to Bethlehem and abandoned their pagan beliefs on the spot.



Hybrid Theory
Although the strength of the Persian Empire eventually declined, the influence and traditions of the magi did not.  As soldiers who survived the Crusades brought back grand tales of wizardry and trade routes began to form along the Mediterranean nations, European magicians began to adopt and integrate the wisdom of the Persian sorcerers and prophets.  The knowledge of the magi began to intermingle with existing ideals and philosophy associated with the Jewish Cabbala and early Christian teachings.  Combine all of this with existing scientific practices such as chemistry, alchemy, metallurgy, and anatomy and you have a strong foundation for the practice of magic throughout the centuries.

Pretty Fly for a Magi
So just what was it that was so special about being a magician?  What else could these new European sorcerers hope to add to existing ideas? 

The occult idea of magic began to take new forms by integrating prevalent ideas with proven concepts.  For the purposes of magic it was believed that each man held within himself an entire cosmos.  The makeup of a man was considered to be a miniature version of the natural order, thus each living being held both the experience of being affected by the outside world and the ability to change it in tangible ways.  The magus, or magician, was believed to possess the power of harnessing his inner forces and projecting them upon his environment.  He could affect everything from the direction of the wind down to the very actions and thoughts of another individual.  The magus, after years of study and exposure to the natural order of the world, could call down terrible forces and spiritual intelligences that he could employ for his own personal desires.

It may sound like a great power to pursue, but the road to becoming a true magician was often perilous.  Conditioning oneself to summon and control such relentless forces took the utmost of preparation and skill.  Eliphas Levi, also known as the last of the magi, had this to say about it:

"To attain the sanctum regnum, in other words, the knowledge and power of the magi, there are four indispensable conditions - an intelligence illuminated by study, an intrepidity which nothing can check, a will which nothing can break, and a discretion which nothing can corrupt and nothing intoxicate.  TO KNOW, TO DARE, TO WILL, TO KEEP SILENCE - such are the four words of the magus."

Summoning Demons for Dummies
The Grimorium Verum, or True Grimoire, was printed in 1517 and served as a definitive resource for sorcerers who desired to engage in one of the most dangerous and potentially rewarding practices in magic:  summoning demons. 

"In the first part," states the book, "is contained various dispositions of characters, by which powers the spirits or - rather - the devils are invoked, to make them come when you will, each according to his power, and to bring whatever is asked;  and that without any discomfort, providing also that they are on their part content;  for this sort of creature does not give something for nothing."

As for the spirits, there were many you could call upon, but only three who were considered to be the superiors.  They were Lucifer, who directly lorded over Europe and Asia, Beelzebub, who made his haven in Africa, and Astaroth, who presided over the New World.

Each of these generals had vastly different appearances, as they had to find a body to inhabit each and every time they were summoned.  Lucifer, the trickster, was known to always appear as a young boy whose whole body turned to bright red whenever he became angry.  Beelzebub generally appeared as a gigantic cow or male goat that had a tendency to vomit flames, and Astaroth usually possessed the body of an adult male cloaked in black.

Each superior had a couple of lieutenants that they could call upon, and in addition to these the Grimorium Verum listed eighteen lesser demons which could be called upon to perform very specific tasks.

Claunek - bestows riches and uncovers buried treasure

Muisin - offers strategic and political advice

Bechaud - exercises power over natural forces such as wind and rain

Frimost - controls the bodies and minds of women and girls   

Klepoth - provides insightful visions and dreams

Khil - creates earthquakes on demand

Mersilde - magically transports you anywhere you want to go, instantly

Clisthert - turns day to night, or night to day

Sirchade - can introduce you to any animal, either real or supernatural

Hicpacth - can deliver to you anyone you want to see from any distance instantly

Humots - provides you with any book you want

Segal - makes prodigies appear before you

Frucissiere - brings the dead to life

Guland - inflicts any kind of disease upon whoever you wish

Surgat - can unlock anything  (master of unlocking!)

Morail - bestows invisibility to you or any object

Frutimiere - serves up any feast you desire

Heictiigaras - puts you to sleep or inflicts insomnia

Now that you know who to ask for, it's time for the fun part:  summoning!

However strange it may seem, the first order of business in summoning a demon is self-purification.  The magician is required to say a quick prayer and beseech the great Lord God Adonay to cleanse the soul of a poor, worthless sinner.  The sorcerer would say this blessing over a bowl of water and promptly set about washing his face and hands before even thinking about preparing the various instruments involved in calling upon the legions of Hell.

As far as instruments go, the primary object was a knife.  The blade and handle were preferably handmade "on the day and hour of Jupiter with the Moon crescent," blessed in the holy water, and then fumigated over a coal fire.  Various prayers were to be recited over the infant edge, and several aromatic branches and perfumes were added to the fire.

A virgin parchment generally made from the skin of a goat or lamb was also required.  Several prayers and aromas later it could be employed for the writing of spells and the holy names of power that would hopefully keep the magician safe during the summoning.  The quill pen, inkhorn, and even the ink itself also had to be newly made and blessed before use.

Two wands also had to be made, one serving as a spare should the primary wand be dashed to pieces during the incantations.  They both had to be cut from a hazel tree on a Wednesday during the crescent moon.  The first wand was to be engraved with the sign of Frimost, the second with the seal of Klepoth.

Unfortunately there were several specific incantations and process involved depending on which effect the magician intended to achieve.  The invisibility recipe is by far the most entertaining, so here we go!

HowTo:  Become a Superhero (or Villain!)
First and foremost, collect seven black beans and the head of a recently deceased man.  Place one bean in the dead man's mouth, two in his ears, two in his eyes, and two in his nostrils.  Once this is complete, draw or carve the seal of Morail into the head and bury it faceup in the earth for eight days, each day taking good care to water it with a fine brandy.

On the eighth day the spirit would appear and ask "What wilt thou?", to which the sorcerer would reply, "I am watering my plant."

The spirit would ask for the bottle so as to water the plant itself, however, the magician was strictly instructed to not hand it over until the demon produced the seal of Morail to prove its identity.  On the ninth day the seeds would germinate and were ready for use.  The magician was instructed to carefully dig up the head, stand before a mirror and place each seed into his mouth until he could not see his own reflection.  Seeds that did not work were to be buried back with the head.

The Suffering
As one can justly suspect, the evolution of the dark arts inspired both wonder and terror in the people who witnessed it firsthand.  Upon mastering certain elements of magic, many a wizard could look forward to either a life of luxury and fame or a miserable existence of persecution and torture. 

Paracelsus, who was known as a major occultist and a pioneer of medical science in the 1500's, died at the tender age of forty-eight after a life of travel and discovery.  It was suspected that his enemies either poisoned him or threw him from a cliff.

Alexander Seton was a famous alchemist who claimed to be able to turn lead into gold, which was the primary property of a mystical item known as the Philosopher's Stone.  After successfully performing this feat before the elector of Saxony, Seton was imprisoned for not revealing his secret.  The elector had him roasted over a slow fire, put to the rack, whipped and scourged, but the resolute alchemist still refused to talk.  He died shortly after his rescue from imprisonment and took his secret to the grave.

Catherine Monvoisin, a known diviner and crafter of love potions, was briefly tortured and burned alive after Louis XIV of France suspected her of poisoning a member of the royal court.

Cagliostro, a flamboyant alchemist and master of the occult, managed to carve out a mostly successful and lavish existence for himself.  That is, until he was accused of heresy by the Inquisition in 1789 and later strangled to death by his jailer.

The Wonderful Wizard
From the exile and torture of magicians after the fall of the Persians to Nancy Reagan consulting her own private seer, the occult has its own sordid little notch in the bowels of known history.  It has consumed the lives of thousands of adept men and women and captured the imagination of countless others.  For as long as man has the desire to gaze upon new and unexplored regions of existence, we will hopefully have accounts of strange rituals and senseless violence to keep us moderately entertained and perhaps a bit affronted!



Be sure to tune in next week for Series 2 in my four-part saga, "Unconventional Uses for Hedgeclippers"!