this was totally 100% by me and totally 100% not by gz



today is my day off. this is normally grand news. however on my way down the elevator to leave my office i was trapped. apparently someone has been throwing garbage down the adjacent broken elevator shaft and this jammed the elevator. in any event i was trapped for two hours with a man named pasty and i decided i would kill three eagles with one spear and interview him impromptu. warning: this interview is 100% impromptu:

Doug Beach PHD: hello pasty it is great to meet you. tell us about the man behind the games... do you practise witchcraft? what occupation do you have? what is your preferred toothpaste? converted into hex code what is your age?

Pasty: well hello there!  it is great to meet you too -- i will be sure to tell the wiccan order about you (yes) i do intelligence analysis work in the military (military) i'll give you a hint it is white and comes out of a tube (crest) 16 (22). i am male (cribs notes) and i make games (poorly).

Doug Beach PHD: this surprises me that you are in the army. tell me... what is your real life kill to death ratio? ie. how many terrorists have you "gibbed" (in video game terminology this means "frag" / kill)

Pasty: i have fragged 0 chumps and have died inside at least eight times

Doug Beach PHD: what inspires you to make games / why make games? in other words why did you decide to develop games after playing final fantasy 7???

Pasty: I'd been a fan of Squaresoft's games ever since I played Final fantasy IV with my mom.  I sort of grew out of Squaresoft (and to this date have not bought a game from them in two years) and decided that I wanted to tell an interactive story.  I wanted to make a game that had fun gameplay and a quality story that was entertaining and didn't talk down to the player.  Plus, messing with systems is fun and I have always enjoyed tinkering with gameplay systems (especially in Game Maker.)



Doug Beach PHD: what is a pasty juggernaut? ? ? i am going to assume this is some kind of slang for street drugs but i would like to be proven wrong

Pasty: a "pasty juggernaut" is actually a sexual maneouvre (sp).  it is used to describe when a man who is not exactly a jock gets with, you know, a lady, except they don't do "it," even though they are both naked!  he just cries and she brushes his hair back as she holds him. i pretty much gave this name to myself in sophomore year in high school; no one else ever called me this.  they did have other wonderful nicknames for me though!

Doug Beach PHD: someone told me you are making a game however this completely disinterests me. unfortunately i need money to buy macaroni so i would like to know a paragraph about your so called "game".

Pasty: that's fine, i don't enjoy making games either (if you read that last paragraph well it was all a lie! everything i even have no mom...), but i also need to bring the bread home so here goes.  It's called Alcarys Complex, and it's an action-rpg built in Game Maker 7 in the style of Secret of Mana.  The first character you come across is this nerdy guy, Corvallis, who is a database manager at this big medical conglomerate Instrumental Technologies. Well, he comes home from work one day to find his house absolutely trashed and his mother cowering in the corner, just screaming. There's some hulking beast walking around trashing everything (turns out it's Corvallis' father, transformed into a beast form), and Corvallis can't really do anything to defeat it.  As luck would have it, though, there's a field agent from a foreign army in the area and she comes to his aid. So, she snatches Corvallis up and they go on a world journey picking up misfits (strong misfits) along the way and combating threats to the world's security like rogue soldiers and terrorist organizations.

Doug Beach PHD: tell me the flagstone / landmark / prominent feature of your game. ie. toilet system, hair particle rendering, real-time plant growth, etc.

Pasty: The battle bar is probably the major feature.  While you're fighting, there's a bar on screen with a cursor that loops from left to right over sectors numbered 1-6.  As the sector gets higher, the damage you do gets higher, but the stamina you use also gets higher, so you get fewer hits. You can also assign skills to these sectors so that if you use a skill while the cursor is over a sector, you get a damage bonus.



Doug Beach PHD: allegedly you have made this game with other people / assistance. tell me about these people and what is it like making games with multiple persons (good??? bad???)

Pasty: i programmed the games, ocean's dream made the environment and the tiles (even picking up slack as far as enemies and characters where other people could not make the deal.), couchfiend picked up the sounds and the music, and gelatinous cube made a few music tracks for us too. doppleganger also made us some nice demo character sprites as part of a commission. when you pick people up and you manage a project, you have to be willing to compromise, and you have to have a certain amount of passion for the project, too.  otherwise you wind up not coming back as you get into the more tedious aspects of making games.  this can be deadly for not only you, but for people who depend on you to deliver your part of what is supposed to be a finished product. it's a good experience, though, because these other people might think of stuff you left out

Doug Beach PHD: what is it like working with the master of all couches,,, conchfeld?

Pasty: he is a cool dude.  we make dick jokes with each other.  we even changed each other's signatures on the development boards to dick jokes. it is ridiculous. he also has shared his music demos with me - they're quite good. he is just a banner guy.

Doug Beach PHD: MAIL BAG: what would you do for a klondike bar? - rpg

Pasty: i could see myself fighting a bull for a klondike bar.  we'd be in a dirt arena, and i would have the traditional torero getup on.  since i have no bullfighting experience, i'd be gored in five seconds.  the EMTs would give me a klondike bar and that would be the last thing I taste.



Doug Beach PHD: are you a fan of shigeru "shiggsy" miyamoto? if not tell me any gaming influences you have (games / game developers)

Pasty: i like what miyamoto does and i love his method for coming up with game ideas. he gets out, he gardens (resulting in pikmin), he weighs himself (wii fit) and he does a lot of other things with his day.  the guy doesn't just sit in front of a computer screen all day.  i think that's something worthy of emulation when it comes to bringing what you, as a person, have to game design.

Doug Beach PHD: when people are being executed sometimes they allow them to say last words. basically this is the same deal but you are not being executed. tell me any shout outs / things you would like to get off your chest before i disappear into the shadow.

Pasty: remember:  if an army recruiter calls you, respectfully decline or tell him you are gay!  you don't want to have to put up with this bullshit no matter how much it pays. trust me.

Doug Beach PHD: great job. you have earned 50 dapp for this.





this game has managed to capture the hearts and minds of gaming world and has thus been given the elusive palladium frying pan award. this is only awarded to games assured to be the game of the decade and will garner universal respect from all game developers and gamers alike. hype...? or destiny..?? you decide...